Hani's POV.
After Dyo's confession, everything was a little bit awkward. How could it not? Kita sempet kepisah selama lima tahun, tanpa kabar apa-apa dan tiba-tiba Dyo ngutarain isi hatinya ke gue. It felt like a stranger was confessing to me. Tapi Dyo berhasil ngeruntuhin the awkwardness cuma dalam waktu tiga hari.
Hari ketiga setelah Dyo confessed, I started to feel much more comfortable around him. Dyo is a real gentleman. He takes care of me; he will make sure I didn't skip my breakfast, I don't stay up late in front of the computer, he always brings me the things that I crave for, etcetera etcetera. Tipikal orang-orang yang sedang dalam pendekatan, but I enjoy it a lot.
Hingga pada akhirnya, dua minggu setelah itu, Dyo asked me to be his girlfriend. He brought me to Bukit Bintang at night. Though I had thought of it-- I knew he was going to ask me out, but still, it gave me a surprise. Dyo dan gue duduk diatas kap depan mobilnya. Two in the morning. We were staring at the clear sky full of stars.
"Yang itu kayak kelinci." Dyo menunjuk kearah sekumpulan bintang, telunjuknya bergerak mengikuti letak bintang, membentuk kelinci.
"That's probably Lepus," gue teringat buku Consellation of Stars yang gue baca di perpus beberapa bulan yang lalu.
"Lepus?"
"Salah satu rasi bintang." Jawab gue, masih memandang ke langit yang penuh bintang, mencoba mencari bentuk rasi bintang lainnya.
"Yang itu... Musca. Mirip lalat."
Dyo tertawa kencang, "Mana mirip lalat?" Tanyanya sambil memegang perutnya, sakit karena tawanya.
"Itu! Sebalah kiri!"
"Mana? Ngga mirip lalat..."
"Ih," gue meraih tangan Dyo, merentangkan telunjuknya dan mengarahkan ke Musca, "Bintang yang itu... Kalo disambungin kesini, jadi kepalanya." Gue menggerakkan jari telunjuk Dyo, "Kalo ditarik ke bintang yang ini... Jadi sayapnya. Yang ini ditarik kesini... Jadi badannya. Mirip lalat kan!"
Dyo mengangguk, "Iya deh, percaya sama Hani." Ujarnya.
Gue ikut mengangguk puas. Saat gue mau melepaskan jari Dyo dari genggaman gue, Dyo malah menggenggam balik jemari gue. He put our hands on his lap.
"Dingin, ya?"
He slowly rubbed my hand, hoping the friction from our hands would warm mine a little from the cold.
"London is way colder than this, Yo." Jawab gue sambil tersenyum.
"But your hand is cold." He brought my hand close to his mouth and breathed on it.
"I'm sorry I brought you to this place at this time."
"Don't be, this is the perfect time to see that beautiful sky. l've never seen this kind of sky since I moved to London, tapi karena lo gue jadi bisa ngeliat langit seindah ini sekarang."
Dyo held my hand tighter. He strokes my hand which made me feel so comfortable. Though my hand were still cold, but it warmed me from the inside.
Dyo gulped, "Gue juga seneng, Han. Bisa bawa cewek yang gue sayang ke tempat favorite gue."
Gue diem. Gue gak tau harus ngomong apa. Harus nanggepin apa. Dalam hati, gue ngerasa bahagia. My heart wouldn't stop beating so fast. But at the same time, I was scared and confused about my feelings.
"Hani, maaf... Maaf kalau lo pikir ini terlalu mendadak atau terlalu cepet since we just met three weeks ago after a really long time," He was looking at me in the eyes, there was hope in them. There was sparks in his eyes that tingled me.
"Tapi kalo mau jujur, gue udah nahan perasaan ini terlalu lama, Han. And now I can be with you again, I don't want to waste this chance just like what I did five years ago."
This is it.
Dyo turun dari kap mobil, mengambil sesuatu dari rerumputan disamping mobilnya. A sunflower.
"A sunflower. Because you've been my sun since the first time I knew you," Dyo mengambil napas panjang. He exhaled. "And now can I... Officially claim you as my sun? My only sun?"
Gue masih diam. Berusaha mengalihkan pandangan dari mata Dyo. Sulit. His eyes captivated me.
"Hani mau gak jadi pacar Dyo?"
The childhood nicknames.
Seketika itu pula pikiran gue kembali ke lima tahun yang lalu. Those times when I was completely in love with Dyo. When I didn't want to spend a day without Dyo. The time when I could feel how it hurt me when Dyo had to go far away from this town.
I was fall in love with Dyo.
"Dyo, gue..."
Am I still in love with him?
"Gue..."
Probably yes.
"Gue gak mau kehilangan elo lagi."
"That means...?"
"I do, Yo."
Dyo bernapas lega. Senyum perlahan terbentuk dari bibirnya. Dyo memberikan bukan mataharinya ke gue. Gue ambil. I laughed. A sunflower at two in the morning. Somehow funny to me.
"Why is it a sunflower again? At two in the morning?" I asked him while he holding now both of my hands with both of his hands. The sunflower was on our hands.
"Because I believe somehow the moon and the sun can meet."
I make an 'o'.
"This sun?" I pointed the flower.
"Bukan," Dyo maju, tangannya dilingkarkan di pinggang gue. I still sat. He stood. I put my forehead on his chest. "Sun yang ini."
He smelled the top of my head. "Makasih, Han." A kissed on the top of my head. "Aku sayang kamu."
***
"Kamu mau pesen apa?"
Gue masih melihat-lihat menu.
"Aku green tea latte aja deh."
"Hu uhm, mau makan gak?"
"Nggak, tadi udah makan kok di rumah."
"Ho, yaudah aku pesen dulu ya."
Dyo berjalan ke coffee counter. Bunyi suara hujan diluar mulai terdengar lebih kencang seiring bertambah derasanya hujan yang turun. Hari ini gue nemenin Dyo buat ketemuan sama temennya. His bestfriend, he said. Dyo sama temennya ini punya sebuah project, something related to music. They are going to cover a song for a competition.
Have I told you Dyo is really good at singing?
Well, he is. He has this semi-agile voice that capable of executing vocal line with medium tempo. His timbre vocal is like melted caramel chocolate filled with honey and whip cream. Sweet, soft and warm.
Dan beberapa hari yang lalu, Dyo minta gue buat dengerin hasil cover-annya dia dan temennya ini. Sekalian dia mau ngenalin bestfriend-nya. And here I am.
Dyo kembali dengan membawa segelas green tea latte dan espresso. I take a sip of my latte after I murmured a thank you to him.
"Kayaknya dia bakal telat." Dyo menyeruput espresso-nya, "Anaknya naik motor... Ujan begini dia neduh dulu kayaknya."
"Dia temen SMA kamu?"
"Nggak, temen kuliah kok. Baru ketemu pas masuk ITB ini, anak FTSL juga."
"Kok kayak udah deket banget kamu ceritanya."
Dyo grins, "We're very much compatible, I guess."
I smile. Someone who is compatible with Dyo may also be compatible with me. Mungkin akan lucu kalau kita bertiga bisa temenan baik.
"Dia anak band," lanjut Dyo, "He's very good at any music instruments. Drum, gitar, bass even piano, kayaknya dia bisa semua."
"Wow, keren banget." I amazed.
Dyo cemberut, "Salah ya aku ceritain soal dia? Nanti kamu suka lagi sama dia."
"Eeeh, ya nggaklah!" Gue ketawa, "He can do everything but own my heart, nggak kayak kamu."
"Lah berarti aku gak bisa ngapa-ngapain selain ngambil hati kamu, dong?"
We both laughed.
"Nama temen kamu siapa sih?"
"Ooh aku belom ngasih tau namanya?"
Gue menggeleng.
"Namanya--"
Lonceng diatas pintu masuk kafe berbunyi, tanda seseorang baru masuk ke dalam kafe. We both look at the person. A person who looks so familiar to me. A person who was once important for me. A person who could make my heart fluttered and broken. A persone who once, was my world.
"Nah itu dia si Chanyeol! Yeol! Sini!"
Chanyeol menoleh ke arah Dyo yang sedang berdiri, "Oi Yo!" Tersenyum lebar saat melihat temannya memanggilnya.
I freeze. I stay on my sit. I couldn't-- am afraid to look at both of them. To look at Chanyeol. It's been three years since the last time I met him and the last meeting wasn't a really good memory. And now I unexpectedly meet him here, when I'm with my boyfriend,
Which happen to be his bestfriend.
Gue masih nunduk saat Chanyeol udah berada tepat di depan gue. Dia masih sibuk sama Dyo, he doesn't recognize me. I take a peek on him. Chanyeol make jaket kulit diatas kaos Radiohead kesayangannya. Oh my God, I still remember his favorite shirt. Dan jeans belelnya yang gak akan pernah dia cuci semenjak pertama kali dibeli. Rambutny basah, disibak kebelakang. Makes me can see his whole face. The face that I've been missing.
"Eh Yeol, kenalin dong nih," Dyo mengalihkan pandangannya ke gue, "Ini Hani, Yeol."
Dengan segala keberanian gue, gue melihat ke arah mereka. I see him. I see Chanyeol. He looks shocked. His jaw dropped, untungnya Dyo gak ngeliat. His eyebrows furrowed, means he's not impressed. Meanwhile, gue nyoba buat senyum, walaupun sebenernya susah. But Dyo is looking at me lovingly, he's excited to introduce his girlfriend to his bestfriend. I should not disappoint him.
"Ha-- halo, Chanyeol ya? Gue Hani." I offer him my hand.
Chanyeol tidak menyambut tangan gue. He still freeze there. Dyo harus menyikut pinggang Chanyeol agar Chanyeol meraih tangan gue.
"Cha-- Chanyeol."
I fake a smile. Chanyeol knows I want us to pretend that we haven't known each other before. Somehow I feel relief and sad at the same time.
"Cewek gue, Yeol." Dyo menyengir lebar.
I feel suffocated.
"Cewek lo?"
Dyo mengangguk, "Yang waktu itu gue ceritain, inget gak?"
"Uh, oh, childhood friend?"
"Childhood friend who has become my girlfriend." Dyo sounds proud.
Gue bisa ngerasain tatapan Chanyeol, walaupun gue fokus melihat ke Dyo. This situation is so awkward for me and probably Chanyeol, I can't make this more awkward by letting Dyo knows that Chanyeol is my ex-boyfriend.
I hope Chanyeol thinks the same way.
"Oh, selamat selamat. Semoga langgeng." Chanyeol congratulates us, his voice sounds so flat like there is no happiness in it.
Dyo menepuk-nepuk pundak Chanyeol, "Thank you thank you. Duduk Yeol sini," he pulls the chair for Chanyeol and moves to sit beside me.
Gue depan-depanan sama Chanyeol. He keeps glaring at me. His glare tells me that he demands an explaination. What explanation? Gak ada yang harus gue jelasin, kan? I shrugged my shoulders. I feel like running away from that place.
"Yeol, jadi gini, gue mau nunjukkin Hani hasil coveran kita yang buat lomba PPI itu. Jadi nanti pas kita ke studio gue bawa Hani. Gapapa kan Yeol?"
"Uhm, gapapa Yo. Santai aja."
"Sip, sekalian minta pendapatnya Hani. She knows about music quite well, kok." Said Dyo while caressing my hand.
Chanyeol mengangguk. I see his mouth saying 'I know' without any sound. My heart falls apart.
"Sippp Yeol. Eh bentar ya gue ke toilet dulu,"
Dyo berdiri dari kursi. Gue seketika panik ketika sadar Dyo bakal ninggalin gue berdua doang bereng Chanyeol. Gue ikut bangun dari kursi tapi Dyo nahan gue.
"Mau kemana? Aku mau ke toilet cowok kamu gak boleh ikut!" Dyo ketawa, "Bentar ya kamu ngobrol dulu tuh sama Chanyeol..." Dyo strokes my hair and walk away to the toilet.
No. No.
I swear this is the most awkward moment I have ever had in my entire life.
Gue ngebelakangin Chanyeol. Terus-terusan ngeliat kearah toilet, berharap Dyo cepet muncul lagi. Gue gak mau ngebalik badan gue. Gak mau liat Chanyeol.
"Hani."
He calls me.
"Hani."
Twice.
"HANI!"
Dengan amat sangat terpaksa gue balik badan, our eyes meet. His eyes full of anger, I can tell. He gritted his teeth, tangannya dilipat di dadanya. He leans back to his chair.
"Apa?"
"Sejak kapan lo balik ke Indonesia?"
"Sebulan yang lalu."
"Why the hell you didn't tell me that you're coming back?!"
I scoffed, "Kenapa peduli amat sama gue, Yeol?"
He makes a fist, trying to keep his anger so it doesn't explode.
"Damn it, Han. Gue tau hubungan kita udah selesai tapi gak ada salahnya kan lo ngabarin gue kalo lo balik."
"I can't, Yeol."
"Why?"
"Because it still hurts."
