“What? Meet up? like right now?"
I hurriedly typed and directly sent it to my friend, well, my best friend actually; Mark.
In a sec, there’s reply from him.
"No, you are busy preparing for your comeback rite? That's fine. Ttyl Irena."
Honestly, this is my 1st time texting with him since.... maybe 1 year? 2 year ago? And it was Mark who texted me 1st. Weird.
I knew him long time ago, when we both were waiting for our luggage at Incheon airport. Accidentally he saw my passport—which I stupidly dropped it—and he found out that we both came from California, LA.
"Hey. What are you up to here in Korea? Study?" I said 6 years ago. And he just shook his head as the answer. That was it. No word. Nothing at all.
That was my 1st meeting with him. Actually I came a long way here from my country because I was scouted in one of the biggest entertainment company in Korea; Greenlight Entertainment. They came to our school 6 years ago while I was preparing for our school's musical. They saw my rehearsal performance and after the show they came down to the backstage and offered me to be their trainee.
And this time was just my 1st week in Seoul when I bumped to him again, it was at the bus shelter. "Oh. You are the girl in the airport last week, am I right?" surprisingly, Mark still rememberd me.
Apparently, he was a trainee too! Whoa I was so glad that I finally found another LA trainee in Korea.
"Which company?"
"It's JYP."
"Oh, I'm a Greenlight trainee." Actually he didnt ask me but who cares. And there was a long moment of silent afterward.
"What's it Mark? I'll call you after my practice hour done. K?"
I replied him again. He called me Irena just now. It's literally not his habit cz he usually called me by only 'Hei!' or 'Ya!'. This is getting weirder...
"I'll go first. My bus is here." he started walking away
"Oh," he stopped, "My name is Mark. Talk to you later." And then he went on the bus.
"Bye Mark! I'm Irena btw!" I was still looking at him while waving my hand.
We were getting close since then. I always shared all my grump inside my heart to him and he seemed listen to it and he did the same but not that often. Of course.
Though we both came from Cali but our social environment is different. Mark came from a well being family; they even came to Korea yearly to celebrate Mark's Birthday, so eventually I know his family too.
"How's Mark?" asked his eldest sister to me years ago when she came here.
I didn't know how to answer back then cause I only know Mark for several months and we were not that close yet but his sister seemed anticipating my answer so with a hesitation, I replied, "Well... he's a bit..... quiet?"
And his sister burst out laugh, "A BIT quiet, you said?" she was still laughing hard, "Uh sorry, but he's TOTALLY quiet tho. Don't worry , Irena. He talks. Not that much but at least, he talks." his sister still giggling by herself while Mark was side-eyeing her from the corner.
"That's fine. But once you get to know him, you'll know his true colour." she added.
"No. I said it's fine tho. Really :)"
What's this. Was it really Mark who texted me just now? Was it really him? Did Jackson—or another guy in GOT7—hijack his phone? Why did he use emoticon, smile emoticon to be exact? There's no way in hell he would use it. Something really happened to him.
There were those time when we were leaning on each other, mostly when things got rough, when we thought we couldn't deal with this trainee period anymore.
One of them when he told me his company delayed his debut time. "Should I give up? Let's just withdraw from here, buy a ticket to home and pretend that these 3 years never happen." he said with a blank stare. Yup this was really Mark speaking, sounds sarcastic, huh?
But in one fine day, Mark came with his friends, "Yo! Here I introduce you to my friends; they are Bambam, Yugyeom and Jackson, there are 3 members more actually but yeah, they are my members. PDnim called us GOT7. GOT7 means lucky 7." he chuckled.
"Sorry I left my phone. Seriously Mark, are you really okay? Where you at?"
I replied him one hour late.
"Oh hello Irena Noona! Nice to meet you!" Bambam bowed at me, this guy looks cute, with his braces on, on top of that.
"Wow I never imagine I will finally meet you, Irena! You are the one who always on the phone with Mark, aren't you?" this mohawk-and all black-from-head-to-toe is Jackson, yea I already know him, Mark told me about him. "I'm Jackson, Hong Kong' representative." He grinned.
"I said it's fine. I'm at my company now."
He replied in a beat.
"But you sounds not. My schedule is done. I'll go there."
I texted him back. And left my studio rushly.
I told you that it was our 1st time texting since 1 or 2 years ago, right? Ah now I remember. It was around 1 year and 9 months ago since our last communication, right after 3 months since our debut. After that, these tight schedules were always keeping us occupied and that's why we lost contact.
I keep staring at my phone on my way to his company.
"Hi! How are the things? Can we meet up like..... today? -Mark"
I re-read his first message, this text message which made me even rode a taxi and shout "JYPE Building please!" to the driver in a panic state before. Seems like this ajussi driver gave me a-You are a GreenLight artist but why at this hour, to JYPE?-look but who cares?
Anyway, why Mark didn't reply me yet?
"Mark? Which floor are you now?" I called him once I reached JYPEnt building.
"Oh, Irena? You came?" again, he called my name. My cheeks are blushing. I KNEW IT.
"Which floor?" I asked him again while forcing myself not to smile.
"Oh I can see you." he answered. I automatically look up but can't see anything but those big pictures of JYPEnt artists.
He chuckles. "You fool. How can you see me? The window covered with our photo, tho."
Stupid me is stupid. "Mark please. Where are you now. It's 9pm and is freezing outside. I'm not smoking but can you see this smoke coming out of my mouth, sunbaenim?"
He's still giggling alone over there, "Okay okay, meet me at the rooftop. I'll call reception desk to let you in."
"Mark?" my eyes are scanning this place searching for his creature.
"Irena? I'm here." He called my name again; he was sitting on a chair behind the stairs and waving his hand to me, telling me to come to him. If I'm not mistaken, it's his third time calling me by my name today. Now I'm feeling butterflies in my tummy. Oh please Irena. Why on Earth those butterflies fly in your tummy?
"Mark Tuan Sunbaenim. You know it's freezing outside why on earth yo-“
"Irena..."
I stopped. "Sit first. Here." he tapped empty spot next to him.
I sat down and giving him a ‘Satisfied? Now what?’ look but suddenly he hugged me. I was on a freeze mode and taken aback but he grab my waist and kept pulling me.
"He--hey. What happened?" I'm shocked. This was literally not his habit. In my past 4 years with him, he never acted like this. He never will.
"You said it's cold! That's why..." now a frown on his face showed. Oh ho. He's showing his lethal weapon; aegyo. He pulled his face from my shoulder but his hands still lingering on my waist.
"Ehem, how's life?" I said after I got back to my sense.
He put his head on my shoulder again "Hard." he answered shortly. Like he always did.
"You know...." he started to talk, "Being a trainee is hard but being an idol is harder. But since it's my dream, I shouldn't complain about this, right?" he tighten his hold on my waist.
"You know me. You know how much I talk to people I don't close with." he said sarcastically, then chuckled by his own words.
"I'm a foreigner. My Korean is not that good. There are a LOT of things I wanna say. But I have no one to talk to...." his voice is getting low, he looked at me with his puppy eyes while losing his grip on my waist.
"You have Jackson, and all your members are there for you." I said.
Now we were talking face to face. Damn those puppy eyes, I was holding my urge to pat his head.
”No!” He shooked his head, God damn it, now he really looked like a puppy. “It’s not... not like that.... just... geunyang....” he mumbled, lost in his word.
"Hah~ stop with my rants now, how's your life then, Irena?" he pulled out his hands from my waist and leaning back.
Me? I still startled due to his sudden act just now, I mean, yes we are a best friend for years but wasn't that too much? I supposed to be comfortable with this gesture since we both came from States but still, it's Mark; The quietest man on Earth. Never expected this to happen before. Oh, come to think of it, were there any skinship I had with Mark back then? All I could recall is we were just simply slapping each other. Is that still consider as a skinship?
"Hei, hello, Irena?" he waved his hand in front of my face. And it successfully brought me back to my sense.
"Uh? Oh... my life... it's... fine, I think." I know, I know, it was a short answer tho. But what can I say?
But Mark kept looking at me, "And... then?"
"And then? What?" I mumbled. What did he expected me to say, tho.
"No. I mean, how was your celebrity-life like? Oh I almost forgot! Congrats for your Rookie Solo Singer Award! You deserve it, Irena..." he grinned.
Seventh.
"Ah, thanks but I'm not supposed to be satisfied right now, am I right? Well, my celebrity-life?" I giggled to his word, 'A celebrity-life', he said?
"What's so different about that? I'm still Irena Lee; a 21yo, a singer. Oh! The difference is, now I'm singing on a bigger stage."
"Aigooo~ Jalhanda uri Irena~" suddenly he strokes my long brown hair.
Shoot. What happened with Mark—and his sudden skinship—actually?
"Tell me more."
"What should I say? I have nothi-“
"Anything," he added, "Like the old days." with those sparkling eyes looking at me.
Wait. What is this. Am I in my rightest mind or not? Was that really Mark speaking? Am I hallucinating right now?
His words, skinship and stare gave me ghoosebumps and left me speechless. I'm not used to be treated this way.
"I still remember that time when we met at tteokpokki stall and all you did just talking about how bad your day was ‘cause you couldn't understand anything the mentor said. And you tripped on your foot and it made your left ankle swollen. Remember that?" he said while looking right into my eyes.
Ah, that time. One month after I arrived in Seoul. And my Korean was so terrible I even couldn't tell when I should use neun/eun on the sentence. Oh? He still remember that?
"How about your recording? Did it came out well? How's the preparation for your comeback? What did you do last month? Last week? Last three days? Yesterday? This morning?"
God, were he this talkative before?
"Ah! You know, there's a new restaurant over here! Have you tried before? They serve the best tteokguk I've ever taste! You are still a big fans of tteokguk rite?” And now he still remember my favourite dish.
"But Mark, wait. Why..." I stuttered.
"Why? What-why?" he chirped.
"Why.... just... why are you asking me this much?" I asked him with a low voice I can even barely hear my own voice. "What was I doing, my comeback preparation, why are you asking me about that?" he looked a bit surprised, I can tell from his confused expression; his eyes got bigger. "And top of that, you even still remember my favourite food." I added.
"You're acting strange, Mark. We're friends since zillion times ago and I know you a-“
He cut me with a big sigh.
He moved his body towards me, now we are facing each other and those eyes still looking at mine.
"I miss you." he stated.
Wow whats this. I can't digest his word for a sec but then I snapped.
"Yeah of course I miss you too Mark, we lost contact for about one year and a half." I replied.
"It's not like that, Irena... It's different."
It's ninth and I'm still counting.
“I miss you when you told me how was your day, I miss the moment when you slapped my shoulder for not listening to you, when you want to eat Tteokguk so bad but you can’t cz you have to lose your weight….” he burst out laugh in his last sentence.
“Or I just simply……. miss your presence. I want you to be with me, by my side. I want you to always look for me when you have something in your mind. I want you.... I...."
"Mark are you kidding." I was still petrified and seems can't go back to my sense.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Irena you have to see your own face!" he pinched my cheeks.
"Don't!" I covered my cheeks with both of my palm, but Mark Tuan is still laughing by himself, look, he almost rolling on the floor laughing. Seriously, what's wrong with this kid.
"Mark..." I tapped his shoulder,
"Uh, what?" he wiped his tears,
"What's wrong with you?"
He shrugged, "Nothing."
Oh, he's back to his own self I supposed.
I left out a relieved sigh. So that was nothing. That's fine tho, you are not expecting something right, Irena Lee?
"But look..." he held my hand, "When I said I want you, I really mean it, Irena."
Eleventh.
"I missed you, and nothing's wrong about that. One thing that's wrong is that one and a half year I spent without you." he rolled his eyes,
"Mark, I..”
"....love you?" My eyes widened by these 2 magic words Mark just said, and he chuckled.
"Well, well, I don't know you WERE this cute when you are surprised tho. You never showed me this side of you." he ruffled my hair.
"Well, come to think of it, same here Mark. I don't know you are so touchy and chatty like you are not Mark Tuan." I said, and maybe this is the longest sentence since I met him a moment ago. Mark was dominating our conversation. I know, rare.
"Heol. Do you think I touch every single human being and talk to them freely like I touch and talk to you?! Wait, that sounds wrong.... " and now I can see a nervousness in his eyes.
"Irena, honestly I..."
"ILOVEYOU!" he shouted while closed his eyes.
"Pffftttttt...." I couldn't hold it anymore. What was that tho? Was he just confessing to me or what?
"Uh, come on, Irena. I'm deadly serious. Now, now. Get yourself together and listen to me CAREFULLY cause I'm not gonna repeat it again and make another embarassing scene here." he blushed.
HE BLUSHED?
"I just want you to know that, I regret it when I couldn't spent my time with you, I really do. I couldn't imagine a day without you, I think I.... love you."
My eyes got bigger after his so called confession and still couldn't digest his sentences properly.
HEOL.
Did Mark Tuan just confessed his damn feeling to me? It's not a dream, is it?
I starred at him; a best friend of mine for 4 years, his perfectly sculptured face, his-now silver-head, his nose, his wavering eyes. Mark Tuan, I don't know you were this handsome before.
“I love you, Irena. But that's it, I don't want to force your feeling, I don't want you to get uncomfortable around me. But I can't if it's not you. Just...."
"Like the old days, just let me stay with you, Irena." he added.
"Fifteenth." I closed my mouth, I thought I was mentally counting but then I knew that I just blurted out.
His eyebrow furrowed, "What? What's that?"
"Nothing, just... well... you called me by my name fifteenth times by today, a new record you've gained, Mark. You always called me by "Yah!" or "Hei!" back then. Remember that?" I tilted my head,
He flicked his tongue, "You said I was acting strange because I remember even your favorite food when you are the one who's acting strange now." and then pouted.
"Hei, are you just sulking? What's with that pout? You may gain a platoon of fans by your aegyo but sorry, that won't work on me, obviously." I pinched his arm.
HA! I know you are lying, Irena Lee.
"No I'm not! You said I was strange but aren't you strange too? I mean-“
"I love you too, Mark."
That's it. There you go, Irena.
"Wha....what? Come again."
"Not telling, not gonna repeat it again and make another embarasing scene here." I copied his sentences and smirked.
He smiled and hugged me again, "Thank you, I love you, Irena. Sixteenth, isn't it? Well, now you don't have to count anymore." he said on my shoulder.
And now I know his true color, I guess.
